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Thursday, September 24, 2015

Big Brother 17 - The "Blood On Everybody's Hands" Season

So, how many of you watched the finale of Big Brother 17 last night?

Well, if you did, you know who won the $500,000 at the end of the show.  You saw who lost it all.  You saw who was America's Favourite Player...and you may have an opinion as to which players were anything but.

One thing is for sure...this was one season that one could consider to be similar to a liver and onions sandwich.  Now, when it comes to me, I can't stand liver and onions, so the best part for me would be the bread that is on each end.  And really, that's how I felt about Big Brother 17.  The beginning of the show was very entertaining.  The middle weeks were disgusting, foul, and hard to digest, and the end was incredibly satisfying.

Was this the best season of the show?  Far from it.  But did it have a deserving winner?  You bet it did.  Believe me, there were so many ways that the show could have gone so terribly, terribly wrong.  And yes, I will be pointing out why this is the case as I continue with this review.

The one thing that I am glad about regarding the ending of Big Brother 17 is the fact that I never ever have to hear the words "blood on my hands" ever again.  It became the most annoying catchphrase of the whole season, and I swear that if there were Big Brother 17 drinking games where they had to take a drink every time a houseguest said "blood on my hands", then they would be dead of alcohol poisoning before Labour Day!

Seriously.  Enough with blood on anybody's hands.  You can't win the game of Big Brother with clean hands.  End of story.

So this year, seventeen houseguests played the game.  That's the most houseguests to play the American version of the game, and the second season that introduced a set of identical twins (though, let's face it - they weren't TRULY identical).  How do I like them all?  Well, last season there were four houseguests who really made me want to throw my TV out of a window.  This year, there were as many houseguests who annoyed me as there were houseguests whose names began with "J".

(That would be seven, by the way.)

So, let's talk about all seventeen houseguests of Big Brother 17 using their comic book covers from a challenge, and going in order from first evicted to winner!

Oh, Jace.  You were only in the house for a grand total of fifteen days, and honestly, you pretty much annoyed me for at least twelve of them.  Honestly, I think that personality wise, you were fine, and I'm sure that had you partnered with anybody other than Austin, you would have survived the first eviction.  Your mistake was not really aligning with anybody else because you were too busy playing air guitar with Austin and arguing with other houseguests.  I wish I could say more about you, but you were so forgettable that when Julia entered the house, they booted you from the memory wall!

Da'Vonne, you were another houseguest that had me wanting to point my finger at you in stupidity.  You had it in you to be a dominating game player, and you even won an advantage in a competition that allowed you to block three houseguests from voting in the next eviction - an eviction that saw YOU on the block!  Not only did you throw that advantage out the window, but you used your time in the house to pick fights with the wrong people, and sit on information that could have kept you in the game.  You figured out the twin twist before a lot of others did.  Why in the hell did you not use that to your advantage and evict Liz, so that Julia never made it in the house?  I think you are probably a hoot outside of the house, but inside you were a wreck.  Sorry.

That brings us to Jeff.  Jeff, you and Jackie were part of the "Amazing Race" twist, where you were brought into the house to compete against the other houseguests immediately after you competed on the Race.  And, granted, you were thinking smart when you distanced yourself from Jackie in order to play your own game while making her less of a target.  Honestly, I'd have done the same thing.  Unfortunately, that was really all you did.  In fact, I have a hard time remembering what you did in the house to begin with...

Audrey, you have got to be one of the most complicated houseguests that has ever played the game.  I should dislike you because of your poor sportsmanship.  I mean, getting the house to purposely fight is bad taste, and then when you're called out on it, you dress up like a Snuggie with sunglasses and hide in the diary room purposely prolonging the Veto ceremony...yeah...poor sport.  But you know, I can't hate you because you were the first transgender houseguest in the game, and you did raise awareness for it.  For that, I thank you.  At the same time, I said that if you did something that warranted me calling you a dumbass, I would make it clear.

So, Audrey.  You're a dumbass.  But I still like you.

Jason, point blank, you were given a bum deal.  Oh, Mylanta, I wasn't sure of what to think of you at first because you were initially given a "Frankie Grande" edit.  But unlike Frankie - who hid behind his sister's fame - you took some risks and you made some good moves.  You really tried to get far in the game, and of all of the pre-jury players, you are one I would love to see get another chance.  After all, the Wackstreet Boys have to do another tour one of these days.  Maybe get John and Liz back in as well! know, I think I may as well group Clay and Shelli together in this one because they were the showmance that made everybody throw up in unison.  And it's not because of the ten year age difference either.  It's because they used their showmance to pretend that they were voted King and Queen of the Big Brother Court.  With their court jester Vanessa, and Austin and Liz/Julia being their knights, the couple treated everyone else like the poverty ridden vagrants who knew nothing and deserved nothing.  It took the actions of one man to break up this power couple once and for all, and in this case, the King sacrificed himself for the Queen.  Not that it mattered much, as Shelli went the following week anyway.  But at least the Queen became the first royal juror. 

Jackie, like Jeff, you didn't really do much at all in the game.  Unlike Jeff, you at least showed some more personality than he did.  And, I really don't understand that because I watched your season of "The Amazing Race", and you were so good together on that show.  It was like the chemistry fizzled between you and Jeff.  I hope things are okay between the two of you, but then again, I keep telling myself that you and Jeff were a "blind date" couple.

Who is Becky?  Seriously, who the hell is Becky?  We literally had episodes where she didn't appear at all, or if she did, she was on for all of 25 seconds.  I guess this means that she didn't really do much either.  I mean, all we know about her is that she worked in retail, she had an alliance with John, and she got hit in the face with a train and lived to tell the tale.  I'm not saying I disliked Becky...mainly because we never really knew her!

Ah, Meg.  You were actually one of my favourites this season.  And part of the reason why you were a favourite wasn't because of your strategy (let's face it, you really didn't have one), but because you were always so incredibly happy, upbeat, and positive!  In a house filled with negativity and boringness, you were a rare bright spot and a breath of fresh air.  And I think part of the reason why you were such a great houseguest was largely in part due to the next person on my list...

...James, let's just say this.  You may not have won the game, but you won the hearts of America by being voted America's Favourite Player.  It was well earned, and you too are one of my favourite houseguests this season.  You broke up a power couple, you made some great friends, and you played the best practical jokes on all of the houseguests.  I still chuckle over the garbage bag prank you pulled in the food storage room!  I'd love to see you competing in an all-star season alongside Jason, Meg, and one other person that I will reveal later on.

Julia, you technically didn't enter the house until Day 43...mainly because for the first five weeks of the show, you switched places with your twin sister Liz.  And surprisingly enough, even though the houseguests figured it out by week two, they never said anything and you waltzed into the game as if you had been there since day one.  Here's the thing, Julia.  I think given the course of the game, you were the smarter twin, and I think the only reason why you were voted out before your sister is because of one alliance/showmance that I deem the worst alliance/showmance in the game of Big Brother.  

Austin, I'm not going to mince words.  I don't like you, and I don't like your Judas persona.  Truth be told, while you may not be this way in real life, I found you creepy on the show.  I mean, I'm sure your girlfriend back home has a few choice words to say to you after seeing you basically cheat on her with Liz and practically dumped her on live television.  The only time I can say that I truly liked you was when Steve pulled one over on you and evicted you and you were so shocked that you left without shoes.  Looked good on you.  Though, you were part of an alliance that controlled most of the game, so I was thrilled to see it fall apart.

On the flip side, John (a.k.a. Johnny Mac)'re totally awesome!  I don't even care that you sound like Bobcat Goldthwaite when you talk.  You are a dentist with a brain!  You pointed out that Liz and Julia were twins just by a porcelain crown!  That is genius!  You also formed an alliance with Steve, and you both made it to the final four.  You even survived getting evicted once, and returned to the game where you stayed for an additional twenty days!  I think that you deserve another chance to play, because nobody won a Veto quite like you!

Vanessa, let's be clear.  You didn't go on Big Brother for the money.  You already have a millionaire's fortune four times over through your poker playing.  And, you're one of the reasons why I get the chills every time I hear the words "blood on my hands".  Seriously, shut up with that phrase!  Sheesh!

But, I will say this.  Until the end, you used your poker skills and bluffing to make it to the final three, and I have to say, you played a stellar game until that point.  Your only flaw was that your poker face lost its charm by the end, and Steve saw right through you.  And, frankly my dear, you really annoyed me with all the crying.  We get it, you were the one who wanted Austin and Liz split up.  When that happened, why show emotion about it?  Sheesh, make up your mind! 

Liz...unfortunately for me, the way I feel about you has been negatively impacted by your hanging around Austin.  I wish I could say that I respected your game play, but I don't think you had any.  You purposely hid behind your twin sister and your showmance and let them and Vanessa do all your moves.  I guess that's why you came in only second best.  I wish I could tell you I'm sorry, but frankly I can't.  I think Austin crippled your game for you.

Finally, to this year's winner...Steve!  I have to say that I was hoping that he would win.  After all, he is just a few towns and a border crossing away from where I live, so he's the closest houseguest to me yet!  And, I think overall, I was blown away over how much Steve grew in the Big Brother house.  When he entered the house, he was shy, geeky, kept to himself, talked to himself, and was intimidated by many things.  He entered a boy, but left a man.  He became more confident.  He played the game.  He made big moves by voting out Austin and Vanessa.  He became a player that definitely belongs in the Big Brother Hall of Fame.  And why not?  Steve was a true blue Big Brother Superfan.  He was never recruited.  He just wanted to play the game.  That's why I am ecstatic that he won the whole thing.  Congratulations, Steve.  You earned it!

So what are your thoughts on Big Brother 17?

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