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Saturday, February 07, 2015

5 - 6 - 9 - 11 - 12 - 16 - 72 - 83 - 85 - 90 - 91 - 92 - 93 - 94 - 97

I swear to all of you...I have not lost my mind.  The title of this blog is what appears to be a bunch of random numbers.

I am not playing the lottery.

This is not my social insurance number (and believe me, if a site asks you to insert your social insurance number, DON'T DO IT).

This is not even a follow up to the Square One Television blog that I wrote yesterday.

The title of this blog really is 5, 6, 9, 11, 12, 16, 72, 83, 85, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, and 97.

But why?  What does this all mean? 

Well, I have a bit of a confession to make.  These numbers aren't quite so random.  You see, all of these numbers correspond with a department that I have worked in over the last decade.

And, yep.  That's a lot of departments.  And that's not even counting the store standards stint that I did.  Mainly because A) store standards has no department number, and B), I try to block that miserable time out of my mind.

Of course, you're probably wondering what these numbers mean.  And why I've shaded some of them in brown font.

Well, the numbers in brown are departments that I was officially coded with at one time.  The other ones are departments that I picked up along the way, or had to work in for a few shifts in between moves. 

And the department numbers are...

5 - Electronics (Entertainment)
6 - Cameras
9 - Sporting Goods
11 - Hardware & Tools
12 - Paint
16 - Lawn & Garden Centre
72 - Electronics (Hardware)
83 - Seafood
85 - One Hour Photo
90 - Dairy
91 - Frozen Foods
92 - Grocery & Dry Goods
93 - Meat
94 - Produce
97 - Pre-Packaged Deli

Whew.  I'm exhausted.

Of course, my current home is in the 9-12 range, but I have to say that I have had quite good experiences in all of the other areas that I have worked.  Even though many of the departments that I have worked were not by choice, somehow I adapted, and I think that I've become more well-rounded as a result of it.  Because I'm not afraid to take on new challenges at the workplace...

...well, most of the time.

You see, there are some departments in a department store that I know I would be a complete disaster in the minute I set foot in them.  Departments in which I would probably have complete mental breakdowns if I was ever placed there.

And, yes...I will share some of these departments with you in this blog - by the numbers.

(What can I say?  It's a Saturday, and I haven't got a whole lot to talk about today.)

So, which departments do you think I'd avoid like the plague?


Unless you want me to blow up your car in a spectacular explosion, DO NOT put me in this area.  I do not even have much driving experience, let alone experience in fixing a car.  At best, I know the difference between antifreeze and windshield wiper fluid.  I know what a tire looks like.  And I know they sell stereo equipment there because I redirected customers to the area when they were looking for car stereos while I was working electronics.  Anything else?  Um, no.  Just no.

Pretty Much Any Department in the 20s and 30s

And, no, by the twenties, I don't mean the Roaring Twenties.  I mean any of the departments that have to do with fashion.  You've heard of Project Runway?  I'm Project Trainwreck when it comes to fads, trends, and style.  I don't even think that I match my clothing half the time when I don't work.  Okay, so maybe I could handle men's wear okay, but don't even get me started on women's fashion.  I don't even think I know how some of those garments even get put on the body!

Basically, if the department is made of cloth, has things you have to clasp together, or has fitting rooms that some stupid people actually think is a bathroom, I want no part of it.

(And I wish I were kidding about that last statement, but alas, I am not.)


You know lipstick, nail polish, blush, eyeliner, foundation, perfume, and lip gloss?  I wear NONE of that stuff!  Putting me in cosmetics would be like forcing Paris Hilton to work a shift at Burger King!


Put me in here, I will burn the store down.  Not intentionally, of course.  It'll just happen.  Same deal for Department 98 - Bakery.  Just saying.


Interestingly enough, this section is right smack in the middle of electronics, but I never worked in it officially.  That's because our connection centre is operated by an outside company.  Which is fine by me because I really don't think that I know enough about cell phones to even provide anyone with the proper channels to communicate with their loved ones.  If anything, my explanation of the various cell phone plans would probably get people to hang up on me.  Better to leave that job to the experts. 

I mean, let's face it.  There are some parts of the store that I don't feel comfortable working in, and I don't think that I would ever develop the comfort to do exactly that.  But then again, I said the same about the other places I was moved to, and well, look at me now!  Even if I leave the store, or stay, I'll still have that experience.  Trust me, it's a good thing.

But, seriously.  DO NOT put me in Automotive.  EVER.  It's for your own safety.  TRUST ME.

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